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UPDATE - Barbara M -

Matt,

The last few days I have been thinking about emailing.  Before I describe some success stories, I have to say thank you because it has been so wonderful to think about how my life has changed since the retreat.   Some things were 1% shifts and others more dramatic, but every instance I was confident in my decisions and not once looked back and regretted what I did.  Things that didn’t work out as planned I tried to learn something from.

So here are some of my success stories:

  • Got on the radio (first time ever) to thank Matthew live on the air
  • Did a video (first time ever) to help ladies that were getting ready to attend the December 2016 retreat
  • Had a conversation with my boss and requested that he allow me to work from home one week a month – he said he would support that request (as you know I’m typically on the road every week from Monday to Thursday)-  This change was needed to meet one of my goals which was to make friends locally -  basically have 5 new friends I would want to invite to my 50th Birthday party.  Which I met and also have many others I can contact to do things with
  • Made improvements in balancing my needs vs. those of others (e.g., have said no to friends/family when it conflicted with what I wanted to do)
  • Enjoying the moment-  in the past, a lot of times while on vacation I would rush around trying to do as much as possible and constantly thinking about what I would do next, over the past year I stepped back and enjoyed what I was doing then and not what I was going to be doing next (a major shift for me)
  • I’ve wanted to build a detached garage for years, over the last few months I took all the steps to get my plans and application into the zoning board for approval-  the hearing is 10/17. 
  • Have reached out for support and advice from my fellow retreat ladies and newly formed friendships which in the past I would try to work out everything by myself
  • In order to give back I facilitated a 12-week program with my church to help those going through a divorce and will do it again later in the fall.
  • Got together with relatives and keeping those relationships active– In the past we would always promise to get together but never did and only saw each other at weddings and funerals.
  • Reconnected with a very good friend from my past- we lost contact for no real reason, but in the past I wasn’t successful in reaching him, a few months ago I was able to talk to him and it was like we had never been apart.
  • I love to dance, but in the past I would basically only dance at weddings and parties, now I go dancing basically once a week either with my boyfriend, friends, both or meetup groups
  • I love to hike, but would only do it when I was on vacation or part of the Leukemia team in training program, I joined several hiking groups and was hiking weekly until I hurt my ankle and was dealing with injuries from a recent car accident
  • I was never shy, but was conservative when it came to certain things (worried about what others might say or think), but not anymore-  I’ll be the first on a dance floor, I’ll wear what I’m comfortable wearing, if someone asks for my opinion, I will give it, I’m not shy to express my feelings etc.
  • I don’t have a bucket list, but there are things I wanted to try/do or redo that I never got around to doing-  well that has changed this past year-  for example: went parasailing, stomped grapes (I always loved that episode of I Love Lucy), being part of a band, zip lining, attend a rodeo, go to a Halloween party (been a long time since I wore a costume), etc. 
  • I finally took the plunge and volunteered to be a mentor for a middle school student

Dating:  Oh my good has this been so much fun since the retreat-   I totally took Matthew’s advice on choosing “create” vs.  “wait”, dating for practice, making it easy for a guy to approach you, flirting and “touching”  

  • I went to events that were geared for guys-  like a super bowl party (where there was a guy I really liked attending)
  • Sitting by or talking to strangers at events instead of with people I already knew
  • I went to several speed dating events to practice
  • Became a host of several meetup events to give me the opportunity to meet everyone attending
  • I landed up dating 3 guys at the same time (I never did this before).   I was always a single guy lady
  • All my efforts paid off because I met a great guy named Dustin who I have been dating since 2/19 and yes we are in love.  
    Even though we have been dating for 7 months, I still stand behind my standards and communicate them to him and monitor my investment vs. his investment (I never would do this in the past after I decided I liked someone).

    We have a great relationship because we communicate very well, neither one of us are ashamed or afraid to express how we are feeling, we make each other laugh so hard that we can't breath sometimes and we still do things separately, together and with friends.  We are not smothering each other, but are definitely enjoying our time together.  Oh and I almost forgot to mention that he also likes Disney.  We went the Disney world together the end of April and had a great time.

Attached are some pictures.

Let me know if you need anything else.

Miss you

Barbara